Some of you heard about the worst user I’ve helped at work, who worried about “the computer taking the ink off the photo” while trying to scan by inserting her photo into the CD-drive. Worse yet, the photo was of herself, an image she wished to adorn her resume with, a resume which listed computer skills as her first qualification. But I can’t tell that story here, as I find it more effective to flail my arms around as I retell the anguish of that day and my urge to hide under the desk everytime she arose from her computer in the lab. “How am I supposed to know that’s where you put CD’s?”
Today, it was the woman who just now went up to the desk asking me to extend the library’s wireless access to her classroom upstairs. “Why can’t you do it? Can’t your supervisor do it? We use laptops in class. It’d be really really nice if you could do that.” Then she tried explaining to me how wireless Internet uses microwaves (or was it cell phone technology?) and reasoned it can’t be difficult for me to “bring it upstairs” or to extend the wireless access everywhere in Health Sciences. Right, let me leave my desk and do that real quick. I’ll bring the microwaves you speak of.
Comments
12 responses to “Chronicles of the Microlab #4”
haha, that’s classic. Don’t you keep your portable wireless access point with you at all times Jamie?
Dude, you shoulda told her that if you download the Internet that you don’t need wireless internet access.
Kinda reminds me of the Japanese woman who was convinced that the earth was blanketed with the Internet because it traveled via microwaves. Yeah, then I schooled her about how the Internet really works. I think she got to the 1st layer of the OSI model before I had to kick her out.
Oh wow you’re right. My next answer: “Download the Internet.” Brilliant.
Yeah, I was thinking about that Japanese woman when today’s discussion came up. What if it’s the same lady…
Better yet, start your own mini-business selling people copies of the internet on CD. Just tell them it’s pre-downloaded and compressed for their convenience.
Hah Kevin, this is where you usually say, “Capstone!”, hehe.
I just think that she wanted the microwaves so that she can keep in touch with those elusive voices…everyone knows that, with the growth of the Internet, you would need a DVD to fit it all on…
Haha, I need to get into touch with some of these people you meet in the microlab. I see some money making opportunities.
LOL, that’s a definite classic. Definitely bozone surrounding that one.
It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so clueless. I’m with Tho on this one… imagine how easy the scams would be… can we change our capstone to this Internet on CD that Kevin speaks of?
I feel your pain with the special needs users. Although I can’t think of any stories to top yours. I guess working for a company that requires decent computer skills helps.
Some requests never ceases to amaze me however, like those who email me saying they can’t get into email. Or perhaps those whom I ask repeatedly to reboot their computer to fix a problem but never really do even though they insist they already did so several times…. forcing me to walk over there and do it for them, and what do you know… it fixes the problem every time.
Hrm. Reminds me of pretty much every day of my sad pathetic retail existence, where rich bastards from Mercer Island and Bellevue come in and bitch to me about the fact that they’re using Windows ME still and they can’t use their new iPod.
Them: “How was *I* supposed to know I needed Windows XP or 2000???”
Me: “I’m sorry sir, it’s clearly printed on the box.”
Them: “Ohh, on THE BOX is it?”
Me: “Yes. Right here. And here.”
Them: “Well, my computer didn’t COME with Windows EX PEE.”
Me: “You can certainly purchase and OS upgrade.”
Them: “Yes, but my computer didn’t COME with Windows EX PEE or TWOOO THOUSAND. It came with WINDOWS EMMM EEEE. And you expect me to upgrade???”
Me: “Well you could always return your iPod, but since you opened it there will be a 10% restocking fee. I’m sorry you’ve had such troubles….”
Later that day..
Them: “What is this YOU ESS BEE? And what the heck is this Fiiieee Eeerr Wiirrreee??”
Me:
Them: “Well, my computer doesn’t have Firewire. You mean I have to use TWO cables!? This is rediculous! And I have to upgrade to Windows Exx PEEE??”
Me: for fucks sake….
Them: “What do you mean I need a better video card to run two 23″ displays?? What is wrong with the three year old card I already have???”
Me:
Them: “And you’re telling me that I *can’t* run two 30″ monitors? That’s a bunch of crap”
Me: “Well unfortunately nVidia has only released a card powerful enough to run two 30″ monitors for the Mac…each screen needs to drive 4 million pixels….”
Them: “Look, I don’t NEED all this technomumblejumblecrap. I just have an obscene amount of money and want two 30″ monitors and don’t want to have to upgrade anything else because I’m a tightwad.”
Me: cry me a river
and then later that day…
Them: “What do you MEAN, this isn’t covered under AppleCare???!!! I paid $300 for this goddamn thing!”
Us: “Sir, you son smashed the iPod in the car door and the screen is cracked and case is bent like an L. This is clearly accidental damage.”
Them: “And this ISN’T COVERED UNDER APPLECARE??? WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THAT??? My son didn’t MEAN to smash the iPod in the door!!”
Us: ohh geeeeeezzzuuuss.
And yes, much like many of us Americans believe that success will come if we speak slower and louder to people who don’t understand our language, many a Windows user appears at our door irate and speaking slowly and loudly.
Phew, that felt good to get out.
Oh hilarity.! Haha, that was marvelous, Jas.